"It's not because I want to make out with her."
Hold on." He grabbed a pencil and scrawled excitedly at the paper as if he'd just made a mathematical breakthrough and then looked back up at me. "I just did some calculations, and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit."

~John Green

I've been doing some calculations of my own to see if I'm a big enough jerk to pull off a similar line.

Signs point to yes.