"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies--God damn it, you've got to be kind."
Although I basically agree with the sentiment expressed here, the real reason I love this quote is that all public service announcements to babies are, by definition, hilarious and likely charming. I also like that the general tone of this quote implies that there is a widespread problem of rude infants rampaging about the planet.