Let's assume the quantum mechanics many-worlds hypothesis is true, and for every decision I make, there's parallel universes where I'm making the decision differently, with every possible outcome being realized!

Try to kill me, and a parallel me survives! I have achieved QUANTUM IMMORTALITY, with at least one version of my consciousness surviving indefinitely. And there's a non-zero chance that I'M the immortal me!

Shoot me and I'll catch the bullets with my teeth, beat you up, spit the bullets on you and say "Next time, shoot when I'm yawning." And if I don't do it in our universe, it's only because I'm busy doing it somewhere else!

Honestly, how is low self-esteem even a thing?

~Ryan North

Of course if you're committedly neurotic, you could always go the "Man, I bet my parallel universe counterpart is doing everything way better than me" route.